Cafeteria Conversations - A Preview tonywrestles2

Every campus has one. He's the outcast, the loser, shunned by rich boy and joke and brain alike. No frat asks him to rush. No girl looks at him twice--or guy, for that matter. No humiliation is too great.

The jocks de-pants him for fun. The trendy kids ask if they can use him as a "before" exhibit. And when mealtime comes around, he wanders the cafeteria, looking for an empty table.

But the conversations he overhears.....

"Why does he want to fight ME?"

"They're having a Presidents Forum at five. Think he'll do it then?"

"I just challenged that faggot to a match next week."

"This can't go on. I'm gonna do something."

"God, I don't know how I'm going to make it to finals."

"Hey, boy! Yeah, you! Heard all you New York City boys just love a real man!"

"Hey, Oregon!"

"What did you say?"

"I don't need to join a frat. Besides, I know what you boys do in those houses."

"At least my brothers watch my back--who watches yours?"

"Yeah, we do. You see any around?"

"You need something?"

"Actually, I think he's bi."

"He told me he will--right at the start."

"Uh-oh."

"We're spending the holidays in Aspen."

"You heard me. You're a poseur. You talk big, but who have you beaten?"

"For kicks, maybe. That's all his bunch think about."

"Man did you see that skirt on Kathleen? You could totally see her--"

"Hey, I'm a psych major, I can handle this."

"There was--"

"I watch my own back."

"Same thing. It's still goddamn sick."

"You think yer better than ever'one, dontcha?"

"Yeah, you, in a ring, Saturday night."

"Think he'll accept?"

"You don't think he's after me, do you?"

"He told me he would, and that he was gonna spring something on him, too."

"Yeah, right. Like Mom and Aunt Evelyn?"

"Why? You interested?"
"No, just guys from states where it's legal to marry your sister. And speaking of your sex life, what's she charging these days?"

"Prove it."

"Do your brothers know how totally phobic you are--especially the ones who are shagging each other?"

"One of the worst fighters on campus."

"I kicked your ass once already, remember?"

"Don't remind me!"

"Name the time."

"Okay, boy, you an' me, Friday night."

"If you'd rather not....."

"How come everyone tells you everything?"

"And--"

"Oh, shut up, I know what I'm doing."

"Well--"

"I can keep my mouth shut."

"If I were you, I'd tell HIM first. If one of us goes behind his back again, he'll kill all of us."

"I knew it! (mock kissing noises)"

"It'll have to be next week. I'm busy this weekend--with a real man."

"Oh, no, Saturday's fine. Just wanted to give you a chance to back out."

"Next Sunday. Neutral ring."

"Tag team specialist. You want to take on someone who can fight on his own, get in the ring with me tonight.

"Oh, shut up!"

"You're on, punk. Two out of three, submission."

"You're too kind. See you in the ring."

"It'll be a pleasure."